May 2013
288 posts
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mydearcorvo:
I’m still gonna pronounce “gif” as “gift” without the t, I don’t give a fuck, come at me.
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skittlesndrpepper:
craigmothertucker:
so my 16 year old brother made himself a balloon son and kept a photo album of their day together here it is
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my boyfriend and his outstanding level of maturity.
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excuse me but since when did music become this big competition about taste and stuff why can’t we just listen to what we want to if you like bieber go listen to him if you like led zeppelin go ahead listen to them if you like my chem go ahead listen to them fuck if you like sex sounds made by whales go ahead listen to it music is supposed to be fun
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am-i-perfectyet:
staff:
howellester:
do you ever just wonder what the tumblr workers think of us
we think you’re all a bunch of idiots
oh
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Watchwheeeeeeeeeeew:
This is the best thing on the internet.
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I suck at texting unless
I am in a relationship with you
You are my mom
I need something
Me and you are close as fuck
2675. A Japanese company has created a 13 foot...
did-you-kno:
The 13-foot tall and 4.5 ton weighting humanoid robot on wheels with all its 30 hydraulic joints can be operated directly from the cockpit or remotely using a smartphone with a 3G connection.
To compensate for its 6 miles per hour, the robot is equipped with a Gatling gun shooting 100 ball bearings per second. Presently Kuratas are announced to be available in 16 colors,...
ohshititsgreg:
If your name is Frank an you don’t use the opportunity to say “let me be frank with you” every day then you are truly dead to me
blein:
sO my friend’s dog died and she lives in new york city and so she had to take it to the vet by the subway and she put the dead dog in the suitcase on the subway and it was a pretty big dog and some dude saw that she was struggling with the suitcase so he asked if she needed help with it and he said do you mind me asking what’s in it and she didnt want to say a dead dog so shE SAID IT WAS...
spotifylistener:
when i have a kid i’m going to make his middle name “lazy” or something so that when ppl yell at him like “holy frick you’re so lazy” he can just be like “yeah well lazy’s my middle name” and swag the fuck outta there
thepresidentsshoelaces:
obamasdaughter:
eiffelstower:
pizza:
hey i like your shoelaces
thanks i stole them from the president
wtf where are my dads shoelaces
I’m here
fatwink:
math is not very
alphastridercest:
bambiisqueen:
alphastridercest:
queer noises
[ religious mob noises in the distance ]
panicked queer noises
goddammitfenton:
if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence
saltandvinegarcrisps:
i have an essay about uganda due tomorrow and this is all i have so far
simpaticonebula:
2 years ago I saw a group of middle school aged Buddhist boys in orange robes who had shaved heads and a little boy saw them and said “Look, Mom! Airbenders!” and at first they laughed but then they told him that they were Airbenders but they weren’t allowed to airbend in public and it was pretty much the greatest thing I’ve ever seen
my mom: you do realize that one day you will have to pay for all your own things
me: yes but today is not that day
casthewinchester:
sammysbedhead:
sammysbedhead:
sammysbedhead:
what does a tree do when it wants to leave
its leaves
WAIT
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I RUINED THE WHOLE FUCKING JOKE IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ‘WHAT DOES A TREE DO WnHEN IT WANTS TO GO HOME’ I CANT EVEN TELL A JOKE RIGHT WOW THATS JUST PATHETIC
Somehow this version is funnier.
jugd:
life goal: finish my chap stick before it goes missing
